








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 418 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,987 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1379 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1597 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1205 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 806 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $772,199 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grizzly | 56% | 54 |
| #2 | ^HATE. | 56% | 63 |
| #3 | Black Mamba ②④ | 54% | 59 |
| #4 | KANI | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | Crysis | 52% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | KANI | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | Crysis | 52% | 148 |
| #6 | -kHrN- | 51% | 97 |
| #7 | Cashy | 47% | 58 |
| #8 | T!me0ut? | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crysis | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Grizzly | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Black Mamba ②④ | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Cashy | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | T!me0ut? | 2 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crysis | 611 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #2 | -kHrN- | 535 | 0.26 | 19 min |
| #3 | Black Mamba ②④ | 137 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Grizzly | 98 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Cashy | 72 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -kHrN- | +1.60 | 79 | 81 |
| #2 | Crysis | +0.88 | 80 | 78 |
| #3 | .Sky^ | +0.16 | 66 | 58 |
| #4 | Black Mamba ②④ | -0.83 | 76 | 64 |
| #5 | T!me0ut? | -0.87 | 64 | 52 |





