








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1086 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,845 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 861 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1160 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 840 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 984 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $444,401 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^HATE. | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | T!me0ut? | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | .Sky^ | 56% | 54 |
| #4 | -kHrN- | 53% | 58 |
| #5 | Crysis | 53% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | -kHrN- | 53% | 58 |
| #5 | Crysis | 53% | 100 |
| #6 | Black Mamba ②④ | 52% | 42 |
| #7 | Cashy | 47% | 59 |
| #8 | KANI | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crysis | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | .Sky^ | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Black Mamba ②④ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | T!me0ut? | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crysis | 442 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #2 | -kHrN- | 267 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #3 | .Sky^ | 173 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Black Mamba ②④ | 106 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | T!me0ut? | 69 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -kHrN- | +1.85 | 80 | 79 |
| #2 | Crysis | +1.10 | 78 | 78 |
| #3 | .Sky^ | +0.67 | 69 | 56 |
| #4 | Black Mamba ②④ | -0.34 | 78 | 66 |
| #5 | T!me0ut? | -0.59 | 63 | 64 |





