










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2011 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,024 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1266 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1795 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3134 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2829 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,129,715 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 131 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T!me0ut? | 53% | 91 |
| #2 | ^HATE. | 50% | 42 |
| #3 | -kHrN- | 48% | 134 |
| #4 | Grizzly | 47% | 59 |
| #5 | .Sky^ | 47% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Grizzly | 47% | 59 |
| #5 | .Sky^ | 47% | 58 |
| #6 | KANI | 45% | 64 |
| #7 | Crysis | 45% | 159 |
| #8 | Black Mamba ②④ | 32% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crysis | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | -kHrN- | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | T!me0ut? | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | .Sky^ | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Black Mamba ②④ | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crysis | 681 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #2 | -kHrN- | 616 | 0.23 | 21 min |
| #3 | .Sky^ | 215 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | T!me0ut? | 199 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | KANI | 174 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -kHrN- | +1.64 | 80 | 77 |
| #2 | Crysis | +0.99 | 78 | 78 |
| #3 | .Sky^ | +0.94 | 68 | 60 |
| #4 | T!me0ut? | -0.41 | 63 | 62 |
| #5 | Grizzly | -0.66 | 74 | 60 |





