








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 173 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,598 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1235 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1865 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1864 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1634 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $636,869 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KANI | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Grizzly | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | .Sky^ | 56% | 63 |
| #4 | discoboi | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | Cashy | 50% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crysis | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | -kHrN- | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | .Sky^ | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Tesseract | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | T!me0ut? | 2 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -kHrN- | 596 | 0.25 | 20 min |
| #2 | Crysis | 585 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #3 | .Sky^ | 208 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | Tesseract | 130 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Black Mamba ②④ | 118 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -kHrN- | +2.75 | 84 | 76 |
| #2 | Crysis | +0.81 | 79 | 77 |
| #3 | .Sky^ | +0.60 | 65 | 64 |
| #4 | Grizzly | +0.55 | 73 | 56 |
| #5 | KANI | +0.43 | 78 | 61 |





