








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1108 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 297 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4070 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,425 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4725 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4343 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4460 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2897 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $892,343 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grizzly | 53% | 100 |
| #2 | .Sky^ | 52% | 148 |
| #3 | T!me0ut? | 49% | 77 |
| #4 | ^HATE. | 49% | 134 |
| #5 | -kHrN- | 47% | 297 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ^HATE. | 49% | 134 |
| #5 | -kHrN- | 47% | 297 |
| #6 | Black Mamba ②④ | 47% | 94 |
| #7 | Cashy | 45% | 159 |
| #8 | KANI | 44% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -kHrN- | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | .Sky^ | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | T!me0ut? | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Grizzly | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Black Mamba ②④ | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -kHrN- | 1489 | 0.24 | 51 min |
| #2 | .Sky^ | 496 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #3 | Black Mamba ②④ | 208 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Cashy | 188 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Grizzly | 188 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -kHrN- | +1.78 | 81 | 78 |
| #2 | Crysis | +0.74 | 78 | 76 |
| #3 | .Sky^ | +0.35 | 67 | 60 |
| #4 | Black Mamba ②④ | -0.65 | 77 | 63 |
| #5 | Grizzly | -0.74 | 74 | 57 |





