








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 512 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 274 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,968 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4003 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5279 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3117 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3569 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,628,859 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 940 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Doltrax | 63% | 333 |
| #10 | ♡✧ lunar ✧♡ | 61% | 38 |
| #11 | Frankfurda | 60% | 53 |
| #12 | poopboob101 | 59% | 44 |
| #13 | nate | 56% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuaj | 42 | 0.0256 |
| #2 | Astro | 35 | 0.0201 |
| #3 | Doltrax | 23 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | spak | 22 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | the dollar | 9 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doltrax | 848 | 0.13 | 23 min |
| #2 | spak | 671 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #3 | CHRIZZ | 275 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #4 | Frankfurda | 260 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #5 | Nuaj | 255 | 0.16 | 7 min |





