








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
604 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,523 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 680 | 27% |
| Smokes | 854 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 480 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 509 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $200,110 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sammy | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Pnathan | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Beans, gentlemen | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | Chad Ryan | 56% | 43 |
| #5 | Hellopppp! | 56% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Yung Tax Evasion | 50% | 20 |
| #7 | Anger | 43% | 14 |
| #8 | bren | 36% | 22 |
| #9 | infinity ☾ | 33% | 12 |
| #10 | Joe Fresh | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hellopppp! | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Beans, gentlemen | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | bren | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Yung Tax Evasion | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | infinity ☾ | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hellopppp! | 190 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Chad Ryan | 167 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | Yung Tax Evasion | 98 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | bren | 85 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Beans, gentlemen | 50 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chad Ryan | +3.11 | 77 | 67 |
| #2 | Yung Tax Evasion | +0.78 | 74 | 53 |
| #3 | Hellopppp! | +0.67 | 61 | 54 |
| #4 | nosaj | -0.90 | 63 | 65 |
| #5 | Beans, gentlemen | -1.11 | 78 | 54 |





