








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2121 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,072 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1731 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2514 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1857 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1970 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $613,271 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | super1k | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | dyran | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | hheeyyyy | 59% | 39 |
| #4 | Tiger With A Pickle | 57% | 21 |
| #5 | Pinga De James Bond 007 | 55% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Pinga De James Bond 007 | 55% | 56 |
| #6 | duckferno | 54% | 46 |
| #7 | Dogy | 54% | 26 |
| #8 | Supermade | 53% | 73 |
| #9 | treeboy | 53% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Supermade | 7 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | hheeyyyy | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | dyran | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Pinga De James Bond 007 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Supermade | 146 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | dyran | 131 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | treeboy | 64 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Pinga De James Bond 007 | 62 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dogy | 41 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dyran | +3.67 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | Hugh Jerection | +2.26 | 61 | 67 |
| #3 | super1k | +2.22 | 93 | 68 |
| #4 | Supermade | +1.65 | 72 | 75 |
| #5 | Dogy | -0.80 | 58 | 52 |





