








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1422 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,716 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1266 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1394 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1381 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 675 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $349,028 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Richard Fitzwell | 90% | 10 |
| #2 | Fuck you | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | super1k | 71% | 17 |
| #4 | Hugh Jerection | 54% | 46 |
| #5 | Supermade | 53% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Fuck you | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | super1k | 71% | 17 |
| #4 | Hugh Jerection | 54% | 46 |
| #5 | Supermade | 53% | 134 |
| #6 | A_Sweaty_Yoga_Mat | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Supermade | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Hugh Jerection | 6 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Supermade | 244 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | Hugh Jerection | 63 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Richard Fitzwell | 24 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | super1k | 11 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | A_Sweaty_Yoga_Mat | 10 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuck you | +8.80 | 86 | 71 |
| #2 | Richard Fitzwell | +4.72 | 64 | 67 |
| #3 | super1k | +3.76 | 93 | 73 |
| #4 | Hugh Jerection | +2.27 | 61 | 66 |
| #5 | Supermade | +1.99 | 77 | 80 |





