








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 333 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,093 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1808 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1557 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1073 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 655 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $740,626 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ghost | 63% | 32 |
| #2 | Muzzatron | 50% | 40 |
| #3 | Alex:) | 47% | 136 |
| #4 | Taso | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | oedibus | 45% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Alex:) | 47% | 136 |
| #4 | Taso | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | oedibus | 45% | 103 |
| #6 | Nickelback | 40% | 42 |
| #7 | Jack's Pocket Pussy | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oedibus | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Alex:) | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Jack's Pocket Pussy | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Muzzatron | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Ghost | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oedibus | 189 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | Muzzatron | 140 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Alex:) | 73 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #4 | Nickelback | 33 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jack's Pocket Pussy | 31 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muzzatron | +2.47 | 68 | 56 |
| #2 | Ghost | +1.29 | 77 | 44 |
| #3 | Taso | +1.13 | 66 | 22 |
| #4 | Jordan | +0.37 | 61 | 59 |
| #5 | oedibus | -0.17 | 71 | 53 |





