








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1235 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,157 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 671 | 21% |
| Smokes | 779 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 855 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 852 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $205,662 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sun Tzu said Ohio is based | 73% | 33 |
| #2 | handikappensorg | 63% | 38 |
| #3 | calu | 63% | 81 |
| #4 | 1738 | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | camel | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | calu | 63% | 81 |
| #4 | 1738 | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | camel | 50% | 8 |
| #6 | S v e n | 45% | 11 |
| #7 | Tijs | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | handikappensorg | 5 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | calu | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | S v e n | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | calu | 320 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | handikappensorg | 153 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | Sun Tzu said Ohio is based | 48 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | S v e n | 31 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | camel | 30 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | animal abuser | +3.17 | 88 | 68 |
| #2 | calu | +2.51 | 85 | 59 |
| #3 | Tijs | +1.97 | 74 | 67 |
| #4 | 1738 | +0.56 | 82 | 55 |
| #5 | camel | -0.19 | 64 | 60 |





