








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 339 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 136 matches | ||
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3066 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,440 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4398 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2857 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3883 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3302 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $690,900 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 424 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sun Tzu said Ohio is based | 65% | 106 |
| #2 | animal abuser | 63% | 38 |
| #3 | 1738 | 59% | 29 |
| #4 | calu | 52% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sun Tzu said Ohio is based | 65% | 106 |
| #2 | animal abuser | 63% | 38 |
| #3 | 1738 | 59% | 29 |
| #4 | calu | 52% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | calu | 18 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Sun Tzu said Ohio is based | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | 1738 | 4 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | animal abuser | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | calu | 517 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | Sun Tzu said Ohio is based | 124 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | animal abuser | 77 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | 1738 | 52 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | animal abuser | +3.85 | 89 | 64 |
| #2 | calu | +3.04 | 86 | 62 |
| #3 | Sun Tzu said Ohio is based | +1.32 | 69 | 46 |
| #4 | 1738 | +0.89 | 79 | 43 |
| #5 | handikappensorg | -0.23 | 59 | 68 |





