








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
755 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,582 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1487 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1566 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2723 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1806 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $284,482 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | DVM125 | 38% | 143 |
| #4 | Avenger0089 | 38% | 113 |
| #5 | iEndMeNow | 37% | 134 |
| #6 | Wokito | 37% | 19 |
| #7 | TooShort4110 | 33% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DVM125 | 10 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Avenger0089 | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | iEndMeNow | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | TooShort4110 | 5 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | Wokito | 4 | 0.0114 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DVM125 | 90 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #2 | iEndMeNow | 81 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | Avenger0089 | 58 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | TooShort4110 | 44 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | feu | 33 | 0.09 | 0 min |





