








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1060 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 244 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,088 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3747 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4074 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4254 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4013 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $979,280 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2187 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avenger0089 | 61% | 130 |
| #2 | DVM125 | 59% | 157 |
| #3 | Cyberblace | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | iEndMeNow | 57% | 79 |
| #5 | TooShort4110 | 51% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | DVM125 | 59% | 157 |
| #3 | Cyberblace | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | iEndMeNow | 57% | 79 |
| #5 | TooShort4110 | 51% | 39 |
| #6 | Alpha | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avenger0089 | 14 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | DVM125 | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Alpha | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | iEndMeNow | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | TooShort4110 | 3 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DVM125 | 192 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | Alpha | 164 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | iEndMeNow | 46 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | TooShort4110 | 44 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Avenger0089 | 43 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | feu | +2.06 | 52 | 64 |
| #2 | Avenger0089 | +1.95 | 88 | 38 |
| #3 | DVM125 | -0.20 | 76 | 61 |
| #4 | Alpha | -1.80 | 51 | 68 |
| #5 | iEndMeNow | -2.16 | 38 | 54 |





