








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 287 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 373 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 135 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3237 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,379 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1359 | 9% |
| Smokes | 1960 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 6957 | 48% |
| Molotovs | 4103 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,412,071 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | DVM125 | 41% | 517 |
| #4 | Avenger0089 | 41% | 413 |
| #5 | Cyberblace | 37% | 134 |
| #6 | TooShort4110 | 35% | 150 |
| #7 | Wokito | 33% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avenger0089 | 39 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | DVM125 | 37 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | TooShort4110 | 21 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | Cyberblace | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Wokito | 6 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DVM125 | 354 | 0.04 | 10 min |
| #2 | Cyberblace | 239 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Avenger0089 | 183 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| #4 | feu | 159 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | TooShort4110 | 151 | 0.05 | 3 min |





