








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 512 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 446 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 106 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 257 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3864 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1798 | 8% |
| Smokes | 2139 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 8498 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 8788 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $848,564 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 790 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avenger0089 | 45 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | iEndMeNow | 30 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | TooShort4110 | 23 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | feu | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Cyberblace | 8 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | feu | 367 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | iEndMeNow | 288 | 0.03 | 7 min |
| #3 | Cyberblace | 248 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Avenger0089 | 228 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| #5 | TooShort4110 | 172 | 0.05 | 3 min |





