








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 429 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4422 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,115 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5875 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7145 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 4303 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1792 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $652,146 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 858 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yunk | 48% | 191 |
| #2 | Gargameltavion III | 47% | 207 |
| #3 | runice | 45% | 76 |
| #4 | Banana Man | 45% | 179 |
| #5 | Egato202 | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | runice | 45% | 76 |
| #4 | Banana Man | 45% | 179 |
| #5 | Egato202 | 38% | 39 |
| #6 | Jokuntro | 37% | 89 |
| #7 | mAYO❤ | 37% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banana Man | 35 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Gargameltavion III | 34 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | yunk | 33 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | mAYO❤ | 33 | 0.0110 |
| #5 | runice | 10 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gargameltavion III | 411 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | mAYO❤ | 312 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Banana Man | 240 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | yunk | 174 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jokuntro | 77 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yunk | +5.14 | 83 | 34 |
| #2 | Gargameltavion III | +1.01 | 50 | 46 |
| #3 | Banana Man | -0.56 | 52 | 39 |
| #4 | ddd | -0.76 | 51 | 53 |
| #5 | Jokuntro | -0.96 | 52 | 46 |





