








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1026 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 378 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4918 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,278 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3232 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2187 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4103 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 756 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,622,364 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1423 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Banana Man | 46% | 178 |
| #5 | Jokuntro | 45% | 115 |
| #6 | mAYO❤ | 39% | 175 |
| #7 | BoofLordNord | 32% | 31 |
| #8 | Egato202 | 30% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banana Man | 30 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | ddd | 26 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | yunk | 23 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | mAYO❤ | 23 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Jokuntro | 5 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ddd | 839 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | mAYO❤ | 368 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Banana Man | 274 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | yunk | 239 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | Jokuntro | 144 | 0.06 | 3 min |





