








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
330 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 571 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 80 | 14% |
| Smokes | 187 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 176 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 128 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $26,445 of utility $16 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gargameltavion III | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | ddd | 45% | 76 |
| #3 | Egato202 | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | yunk | 36% | 42 |
| #5 | mAYO❤ | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ddd | 45% | 76 |
| #3 | Egato202 | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | yunk | 36% | 42 |
| #5 | mAYO❤ | 32% | 25 |
| #6 | Banana Man | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mAYO❤ | 12 | 0.0243 |
| #2 | ddd | 11 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | yunk | 6 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | Gargameltavion III | 4 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | Banana Man | 4 | 0.0133 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ddd | 208 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | mAYO❤ | 50 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Gargameltavion III | 40 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | yunk | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Banana Man | 10 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yunk | +5.42 | 85 | 25 |
| #2 | Gargameltavion III | +1.26 | 40 | 43 |
| #3 | ddd | +0.63 | 54 | 44 |
| #4 | mAYO❤ | -0.87 | 60 | 43 |
| #5 | Banana Man | -1.85 | 49 | 22 |





