








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 554 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2022 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,140 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1499 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2948 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1673 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2020 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,088,794 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 764 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | yunk | 42% | 62 |
| #4 | Banana Man | 38% | 82 |
| #5 | mAYO❤ | 37% | 75 |
| #6 | Egato202 | 37% | 35 |
| #7 | ddd | 37% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gargameltavion III | 14 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Banana Man | 10 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | yunk | 9 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | ddd | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | mAYO❤ | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ddd | 429 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #2 | Gargameltavion III | 313 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | mAYO❤ | 194 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Banana Man | 92 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | yunk | 89 | 0.07 | 3 min |





