








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2347 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,267 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1366 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1166 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2185 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1550 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $950,389 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ヅP_Avril★ | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | mooN | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | iscø | 53% | 141 |
| #4 | C8 | 52% | 174 |
| #5 | Ogre | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Nandin | 45% | 56 |
| #7 | Nephilins | Régulos | 40% | 15 |
| #8 | Polar | 40% | 15 |
| #9 | Ursinho carinhoso | 38% | 16 |
| #10 | M4CK3 | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nephilins | Régulos | 3 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | C8 | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | iscø | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Ogre | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Nandin | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C8 | 451 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | iscø | 440 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | Nandin | 130 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | M4CK3 | 91 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | ヅP_Avril★ | 59 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C8 | +3.49 | 72 | 72 |
| #2 | mooN | +3.16 | 79 | 69 |
| #3 | iscø | +1.66 | 69 | 69 |
| #4 | Polako | +0.53 | 52 | 54 |
| #5 | ヅP_Avril★ | -0.16 | 47 | 66 |





