








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2122 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,161 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1676 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1574 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 510 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 1401 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $589,069 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 476 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ommeh | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Presto | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | Fediir | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | sitedmite | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | switch- | 58% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | New York | 459 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #2 | switch- | 234 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | Presto | 219 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #4 | Vellaa | 142 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Demig0d ☩ -iwnl- | 88 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SemiPixel | +2.83 | 75 | 59 |
| #2 | roof Korean | +1.77 | 87 | 59 |
| #3 | switch- | +1.15 | 78 | 64 |
| #4 | ommeh | +0.99 | 59 | 80 |
| #5 | popeye | +0.26 | 81 | 65 |





