








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1237 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,188 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1802 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1324 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 997 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1065 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $242,372 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Fragon | 53% | 43 |
| #8 | jk | 52% | 31 |
| #9 | New York | 48% | 27 |
| #10 | AubsTheStrawbs | 42% | 12 |
| #11 | Greta Thunberg | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fragon | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | jk | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | ajaws1 | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Hop | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | SemiPixel | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hop | 199 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | Fragon | 163 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | New York | 136 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #4 | SemiPixel | 133 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | ajaws1 | 98 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ajaws1 | +2.00 | 75 | 59 |
| #2 | SemiPixel | +1.74 | 68 | 61 |
| #3 | New York | +1.55 | 85 | 63 |
| #4 | Fragon | +0.77 | 87 | 71 |
| #5 | Hop | +0.49 | 87 | 70 |





