










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1364 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,904 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1460 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1211 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 989 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1244 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $220,701 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voltage | 93% | 30 |
| #2 | becker | 92% | 13 |
| #3 | Snakes | 88% | 32 |
| #4 | nosraC | 86% | 7 |
| #5 | snav | 75% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | jchancE | 50% | 10 |
| #17 | kam | 45% | 11 |
| #18 | FROGTRAPPA | 45% | 11 |
| #19 | Wolffe | 33% | 6 |
| #20 | ray | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snakes | 7 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | calamity | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | snav | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | kam | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | FROGTRAPPA | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeaKie | 118 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | calamity | 116 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | steel | 107 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | junior | 95 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Snakes | 92 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voltage | +6.32 | 98 | 57 |
| #2 | Snakes | +4.18 | 83 | 52 |
| #3 | Infinite | +2.92 | 91 | 67 |
| #4 | snav | +2.48 | 91 | 59 |
| #5 | -VulcaN- | +2.08 | 79 | 57 |





