








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 146 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 241 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2867 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,534 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2516 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3023 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2730 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3265 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $312,564 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | junior | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | dea | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | Wolffe | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | N2o | 62% | 26 |
| #5 | ffffff | 59% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Laxiee | 50% | 26 |
| #9 | BeaKie | 50% | 28 |
| #10 | snav | 44% | 16 |
| #11 | Marro | 38% | 16 |
| #12 | kam | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kam | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | N2o | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | jchancE | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Marro | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | snav | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeaKie | 280 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | kam | 226 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | Marro | 209 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #4 | Infinite | 199 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #5 | N2o | 157 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dea | +4.55 | 91 | 61 |
| #2 | junior | +3.82 | 98 | 66 |
| #3 | snav | +2.01 | 84 | 55 |
| #4 | Infinite | +1.77 | 94 | 69 |
| #5 | Wolffe | +1.75 | 88 | 79 |





