










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2356 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2114 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2114 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1658 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1589 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $458,284 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dare | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | MarKE | 82% | 22 |
| #3 | ffffff | 71% | 24 |
| #4 | nosraC | 67% | 24 |
| #5 | Infinite | 64% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | sacrifice | 38% | 13 |
| #18 | Marro | 38% | 29 |
| #19 | N2o | 36% | 11 |
| #20 | freshie | 36% | 14 |
| #21 | Evan | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nosraC | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Infinite | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | jchancE | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | kam | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | ffffff | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marro | 227 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #2 | snav | 209 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | nosraC | 201 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | BeaKie | 192 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | steel | 189 | 0.22 | 5 min |





