








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 180 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
894 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,151 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 359 | 5% |
| Smokes | 2303 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2806 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1683 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $706,927 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whelmi | 44% | 95 |
| #2 | KaKa | 41% | 184 |
| #3 | kristianor1 | 41% | 200 |
| #4 | Jodi | 39% | 51 |
| #5 | punsku | 30% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | KaKa | 41% | 184 |
| #3 | kristianor1 | 41% | 200 |
| #4 | Jodi | 39% | 51 |
| #5 | punsku | 30% | 33 |
| #6 | iblue | 28% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | punsku | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | kristianor1 | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | KaKa | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Jodi | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | whelmi | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whelmi | 250 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | KaKa | 180 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jodi | 96 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | punsku | 61 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | kristianor1 | 35 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jodi | +4.35 | 59 | 68 |
| #2 | whelmi | +1.89 | 32 | 70 |
| #3 | KaKa | +1.85 | 56 | 48 |
| #4 | punsku | -1.32 | 11 | 77 |
| #5 | kristianor1 | -1.37 | 37 | 21 |





