








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 149 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1349 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,899 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2094 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2855 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2064 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1886 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,405,784 of utility $246 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | funk | 10 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | olkku | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Photaque | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | sampo69 | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Shinkyo | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | funk | 426 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #2 | olkku | 253 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Shinkyo | 236 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #4 | whelmi | 141 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | sampo69 | 108 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | funk | +4.47 | 75 | 75 |
| #2 | the best asslander | +3.74 | 75 | 73 |
| #3 | Jodi | +3.43 | 50 | 67 |
| #4 | Ady | +2.97 | 69 | 66 |
| #5 | Shinkyo | +2.58 | 59 | 59 |





