








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Wingman | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1741 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,546 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 899 | 20% |
| Smokes | 965 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1070 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1612 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,076,501 of utility $277 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phoenixsiggi | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | veni.vidi.vici. | 53% | 34 |
| #3 | Fellinger | 51% | 57 |
| #4 | guenni | 51% | 122 |
| #5 | Biertester | 49% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | guenni | 51% | 122 |
| #5 | Biertester | 49% | 41 |
| #6 | Jeiblowy | 49% | 39 |
| #7 | Baaan | 48% | 168 |
| #8 | Frodo of the Shire | 47% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baaan | 13 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Fellinger | 7 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | veni.vidi.vici. | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Frodo of the Shire | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Biertester | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baaan | 468 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | guenni | 359 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | Jeiblowy | 239 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| #4 | Fellinger | 236 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #5 | Frodo of the Shire | 231 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fellinger | +2.65 | 83 | 63 |
| #2 | guenni | +1.40 | 73 | 55 |
| #3 | Jeiblowy | +0.88 | 78 | 84 |
| #4 | Frodo of the Shire | +0.32 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | T1ltN | -0.21 | 75 | 51 |





