








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1495 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 399 matches | ||
| Wingman | 233 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 233 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6760 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,514 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7983 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5361 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5226 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4944 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,574,314 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 762 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fellinger | 51% | 417 |
| #2 | ptrck | 51% | 47 |
| #3 | T1ltN | 48% | 168 |
| #4 | Frodo of the Shire | 48% | 217 |
| #5 | guenni | 47% | 219 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fellinger | 43 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Frodo of the Shire | 14 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤ツтακσ™ | 13 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | T1ltN | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Biertester | 9 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeiblowy | 1425 | 0.29 | 47 min |
| #2 | Fellinger | 1390 | 0.17 | 37 min |
| #3 | Frodo of the Shire | 789 | 0.17 | 22 min |
| #4 | Biertester | 635 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #5 | guenni | 617 | 0.14 | 18 min |





