








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Wingman | 59 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3161 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,528 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1937 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2249 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1701 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1641 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,536,074 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 361 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phoenixsiggi | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | Jeiblowy | 55% | 117 |
| #3 | ROKKO DIE SCHNAPSEULE | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | T1ltN | 51% | 122 |
| #5 | Fellinger | 50% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Frodo of the Shire | 48% | 128 |
| #8 | Baaan | 47% | 219 |
| #9 | veni.vidi.vici. | 46% | 80 |
| #10 | ✪sally | 40% | 42 |
| #11 | Der Volvo Drifter | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baaan | 20 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Fellinger | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Frodo of the Shire | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | veni.vidi.vici. | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | T1ltN | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeiblowy | 733 | 0.30 | 26 min |
| #2 | Baaan | 669 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #3 | Frodo of the Shire | 468 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #4 | Fellinger | 413 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #5 | Biertester | 342 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fellinger | +2.44 | 80 | 62 |
| #2 | Jeiblowy | +1.83 | 82 | 81 |
| #3 | guenni | +1.56 | 71 | 54 |
| #4 | Frodo of the Shire | -0.33 | 67 | 65 |
| #5 | Phoenixsiggi | -0.49 | 64 | 50 |





