








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2708 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 437 matches | ||
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Wingman | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 289 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9484 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,198 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9113 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4951 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 7100 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 8034 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,409,158 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 883 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Biertester | 48% | 82 |
| #12 | Jeiblowy | 46% | 72 |
| #13 | Flo | 45% | 75 |
| #14 | Fabianxsx | 42% | 102 |
| #15 | veni.vidi.vici. | 42% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭕⃤ツтακσ™ | 26 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Baaan | 19 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | ᵇᵘᶰᵈʸ | 13 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Fabianxsx | 11 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Frodo of the Shire | 6 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baaan | 1305 | 0.16 | 38 min |
| #2 | ⭕⃤ツтακσ™ | 631 | 0.08 | 17 min |
| #3 | ᵇᵘᶰᵈʸ | 461 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #4 | Jeiblowy | 441 | 0.28 | 16 min |
| #5 | Frodo of the Shire | 409 | 0.17 | 12 min |





