








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3243 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,161 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3191 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2827 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3106 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3037 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,905,596 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 294 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guenni | 50% | 118 |
| #2 | T1ltN | 49% | 41 |
| #3 | Frodo of the Shire | 48% | 95 |
| #4 | Fellinger | 48% | 82 |
| #5 | Jeiblowy | 46% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | iXam | 46% | 35 |
| #7 | veni.vidi.vici. | 46% | 173 |
| #8 | Baaan | 45% | 229 |
| #9 | Der Volvo Drifter | 41% | 91 |
| #10 | PH1L | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baaan | 18 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | veni.vidi.vici. | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Fellinger | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Frodo of the Shire | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Jeiblowy | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeiblowy | 1185 | 0.34 | 39 min |
| #2 | Baaan | 714 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #3 | veni.vidi.vici. | 456 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #4 | guenni | 319 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #5 | Frodo of the Shire | 306 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fellinger | +3.79 | 83 | 66 |
| #2 | guenni | +1.60 | 67 | 54 |
| #3 | Jeiblowy | +1.11 | 82 | 83 |
| #4 | Frodo of the Shire | +0.20 | 70 | 62 |
| #5 | T1ltN | -0.05 | 77 | 49 |





