








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 316 matches | ||
| Wingman | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 45 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6569 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,040 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9840 | 35% |
| Smokes | 8218 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3718 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 6264 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,160,266 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VeenoxZjE | 63% | 76 |
| #2 | kRYSTAL | 62% | 145 |
| #3 | RedSlyer | 62% | 317 |
| #4 | XAN1 | 60% | 308 |
| #5 | Smarty1811 | 55% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | T1ltN | 49% | 39 |
| #11 | veni.vidi.vici. | 48% | 161 |
| #12 | Baaan | 46% | 256 |
| #13 | Biertester | 46% | 168 |
| #14 | Fellinger | 46% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RedSlyer | 31 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | XAN1 | 21 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Baaan | 12 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | VeenoxZjE | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | kRYSTAL | 7 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RedSlyer | 1059 | 0.17 | 27 min |
| #2 | kRYSTAL | 1044 | 0.36 | 35 min |
| #3 | Baaan | 546 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #4 | XAN1 | 543 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #5 | veni.vidi.vici. | 436 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fellinger | +3.50 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | kRYSTAL | +3.16 | 77 | 84 |
| #3 | Meger | +2.23 | 83 | 50 |
| #4 | RedSlyer | +1.90 | 73 | 69 |
| #5 | VeenoxZjE | +1.89 | 79 | 61 |





