








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 320 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 592 matches | ||
| Faceit | 165 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 107 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7943 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,985 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3025 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3992 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4392 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3576 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,434,286 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Northern_Whale | 51% | 308 |
| #2 | MISATO KATSURAGI | 49% | 291 |
| #3 | Yer Da | 49% | 417 |
| #4 | Mxnday | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | Twiggels | 48% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | 🗿⃤⃢🍷Curious George | 48% | 50 |
| #7 | 🗿⃤⃢🍷Matic | 48% | 82 |
| #8 | EMPLOYER | 47% | 170 |
| #9 | Mbpapi | 46% | 149 |
| #10 | ♿ rsn | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🗿⃤⃢🍷Matic | 16 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | 🗿⃤⃢🍷Curious George | 16 | 0.0152 |
| #3 | Northern_Whale | 13 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Yer Da | 8 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | EMPLOYER | 7 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Northern_Whale | 513 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #2 | MISATO KATSURAGI | 455 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | Yer Da | 380 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #4 | 🗿⃤⃢🍷Matic | 262 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | Mbpapi | 207 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🗿⃤⃢🍷Curious George | +3.23 | 77 | 58 |
| #2 | Mxnday | +2.00 | 71 | 52 |
| #3 | Huggyy | +1.31 | 69 | 42 |
| #4 | MISATO KATSURAGI | +0.76 | 66 | 49 |
| #5 | 🗿⃤⃢🍷Matic | +0.69 | 59 | 64 |





