








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 377 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 188 matches | ||
| Wingman | 108 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




91 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2543 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,443 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3421 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3441 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3473 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2108 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $276,070 of utility $40 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1450 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yer Da | 56% | 45 |
| #2 | Huggyy | 48% | 82 |
| #3 | MISATO KATSURAGI | 46% | 37 |
| #4 | Northern_Whale | 45% | 236 |
| #5 | 🗿⃤⃢🍷Curious George | 44% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yer Da | 56% | 45 |
| #2 | Huggyy | 48% | 82 |
| #3 | MISATO KATSURAGI | 46% | 37 |
| #4 | Northern_Whale | 45% | 236 |
| #5 | 🗿⃤⃢🍷Curious George | 44% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🗿⃤⃢🍷Curious George | 51 | 0.0183 |
| #2 | Northern_Whale | 33 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Huggyy | 9 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Yer Da | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🗿⃤⃢🍷Curious George | 494 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | Northern_Whale | 354 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | Huggyy | 74 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | MISATO KATSURAGI | 65 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Yer Da | 43 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🗿⃤⃢🍷Curious George | +1.77 | 76 | 54 |
| #2 | MISATO KATSURAGI | +1.76 | 69 | 43 |
| #3 | 🗿⃤⃢🍷Matic | +0.92 | 63 | 62 |
| #4 | Huggyy | +0.56 | 67 | 35 |
| #5 | Northern_Whale | -2.00 | 44 | 52 |





