








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 620 matches | ||
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4979 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,110 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3623 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4121 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3821 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3545 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,322,056 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🗿⃤⃢🍷Matic | 56% | 45 |
| #2 | Mbpapi | 52% | 204 |
| #3 | MISATO KATSURAGI | 51% | 295 |
| #4 | Huggyy | 49% | 417 |
| #5 | Sugar Daddy | 49% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | MISATO KATSURAGI | 51% | 295 |
| #4 | Huggyy | 49% | 417 |
| #5 | Sugar Daddy | 49% | 72 |
| #6 | Northern_Whale | 48% | 225 |
| #7 | ♿ rsn | 40% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huggyy | 23 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Northern_Whale | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Mbpapi | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | 🗿⃤⃢🍷Matic | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | MISATO KATSURAGI | 5 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MISATO KATSURAGI | 439 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | Huggyy | 410 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #3 | Northern_Whale | 402 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | Mbpapi | 272 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | ♿ rsn | 206 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huggyy | +1.71 | 69 | 40 |
| #2 | MISATO KATSURAGI | +1.13 | 66 | 48 |
| #3 | 🗿⃤⃢🍷Matic | +0.76 | 64 | 67 |
| #4 | Sugar Daddy | -0.12 | 48 | 50 |
| #5 | Mbpapi | -0.20 | 47 | 51 |





