








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1298 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9497 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,015 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5104 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6444 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3905 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4562 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,137,243 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 615 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haffi | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | DOOM | 58% | 60 |
| #3 | Elmero | 55% | 144 |
| #4 | Epiphany | 55% | 44 |
| #5 | Bonden | 55% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eliphant | 25 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | WelshStalker | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Rambo | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | 「MD」Suicide Squad | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Elmero | 6 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 「MD」Suicide Squad | 768 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #2 | Eliphant | 347 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #3 | 「MD」GN0L1X | 339 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | WelshStalker | 197 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | KingBear | 197 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tom | +4.37 | 80 | 58 |
| #2 | Epiphany | +2.70 | 85 | 71 |
| #3 | 「MD」GN0L1X | +1.85 | 72 | 64 |
| #4 | Bonden | +0.95 | 68 | 70 |
| #5 | Jailkey | +0.90 | 60 | 43 |





