








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 152 matches | ||
| Wingman | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 225 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8868 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,254 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6815 | 22% |
| Smokes | 8584 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8685 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 7170 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,025,056 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2867 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tom | 53% | 327 |
| #2 | Jailkey | 53% | 87 |
| #3 | Haffi | 53% | 70 |
| #4 | Vladblazer | 53% | 89 |
| #5 | Elmero | 52% | 376 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | KingBear | 44% | 317 |
| #15 | WelshStalker | 44% | 383 |
| #16 | Zodiac | 42% | 76 |
| #17 | Bonden | 40% | 60 |
| #18 | AndyMcNab | 35% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WelshStalker | 24 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | tom | 18 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Elmero | 14 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | 「MD」Suicide Squad | 12 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Rambo | 12 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 「MD」Suicide Squad | 1737 | 0.16 | 45 min |
| #2 | KingBear | 649 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #3 | tom | 644 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #4 | WelshStalker | 600 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #5 | Elmero | 480 | 0.06 | 14 min |





