








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3149 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,267 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2616 | 32% |
| Smokes | 857 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 2816 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1978 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,893,009 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eliphant | 13 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | WelshStalker | 10 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Elmero | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | 「MD」Suicide Squad | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | DcR | 6 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 「MD」Suicide Squad | 1129 | 0.17 | 29 min |
| #2 | KingBear | 352 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | Elmero | 310 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | Eliphant | 306 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | WelshStalker | 197 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tom | +4.38 | 80 | 60 |
| #2 | Zodiac | +2.90 | 73 | 48 |
| #3 | DcR | +2.71 | 86 | 57 |
| #4 | Jailkey | +2.12 | 64 | 46 |
| #5 | Eliphant | +1.97 | 34 | 58 |





