








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 264 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3366 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,028 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4495 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5677 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7293 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 3563 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,203,212 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 710 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tom | 50% | 123 |
| #2 | Elmero | 47% | 164 |
| #3 | brocli | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | DcR | 45% | 29 |
| #5 | Eliphant | 44% | 383 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | 「MD」Suicide Squad | 39% | 256 |
| #13 | KingBear | 38% | 121 |
| #14 | AndyMcNab | 38% | 58 |
| #15 | Vladblazer | 37% | 59 |
| #16 | Jailkey | 35% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eliphant | 42 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | tom | 10 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Elmero | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | 「MD」Suicide Squad | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Vladblazer | 7 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 「MD」Suicide Squad | 851 | 0.17 | 23 min |
| #2 | Eliphant | 432 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #3 | Elmero | 237 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | tom | 235 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | KingBear | 221 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tom | +4.86 | 79 | 58 |
| #2 | Zodiac | +2.65 | 70 | 51 |
| #3 | DcR | +2.38 | 87 | 58 |
| #4 | Jailkey | +1.91 | 59 | 51 |
| #5 | Eliphant | +1.69 | 34 | 55 |





