








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 650 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 441 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10045 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,716 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6020 | 20% |
| Smokes | 8051 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6777 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 8868 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,360,856 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1844 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 103 | 60% | 142 |
| #2 | Mia Rose | 50% | 163 |
| #3 | On Top of The World | 48% | 50 |
| #4 | a depressed blob | 44% | 79 |
| #5 | Horkrine | 43% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | a depressed blob | 44% | 79 |
| #5 | Horkrine | 43% | 60 |
| #6 | BuffyScout | 42% | 52 |
| #7 | Sm:)e | 41% | 149 |
| #8 | Zaytix | 31% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 103 | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | On Top of The World | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Sm:)e | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Horkrine | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | a depressed blob | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mia Rose | 993 | 0.29 | 26 min |
| #2 | 103 | 283 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Sm:)e | 189 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | On Top of The World | 163 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Horkrine | 129 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | On Top of The World | +5.44 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | 103 | +4.22 | 89 | 59 |
| #3 | jack | +1.89 | 66 | 64 |
| #4 | BuffyScout | -0.20 | 43 | 32 |
| #5 | Mia Rose | -0.74 | 73 | 84 |





