








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 515 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 440 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11 | 3% |
| Smokes | 157 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 90 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 182 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $380,950 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC | 51% | 100 |
| #2 | BuffyScout | 45% | 438 |
| #3 | jack | 44% | 79 |
| #4 | GingerJLD | 43% | 141 |
| #5 | Buford | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | GingerJLD | 43% | 141 |
| #5 | Buford | 43% | 28 |
| #6 | Danky Kang | 37% | 166 |
| #7 | SquiddyAF | 37% | 30 |
| #8 | AlHuntar | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuffyScout | 13 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | GingerJLD | 11 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Danky Kang | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | THICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | jack | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Danky Kang | 263 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | BuffyScout | 262 | 0.03 | 8 min |
| #3 | THICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC | 242 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | jack | 151 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | GingerJLD | 102 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jack | +4.21 | 63 | 61 |
| #2 | THICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC | +1.79 | 66 | 47 |
| #3 | BuffyScout | +1.53 | 45 | 30 |
| #4 | a depressed blob | +0.57 | 58 | 10 |
| #5 | GingerJLD | -0.36 | 34 | 36 |





