








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 505 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 645 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7821 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 60,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 19947 | 33% |
| Smokes | 14042 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 12732 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 14192 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,325,126 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jack | 50% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jack | 50% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jack | 11 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jack | 349 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jack | +0.50 | 63 | 61 |
| #2 | Mia Rose | +0.27 | 71 | 84 |





