








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2900 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,267 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4722 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3095 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2493 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2957 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $983,033 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 526 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :D Book | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | Cinna | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | Joeshmoe | 50% | 70 |
| #4 | ElectricSweetPotato | 48% | 93 |
| #5 | Superious | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Joeshmoe | 50% | 70 |
| #4 | ElectricSweetPotato | 48% | 93 |
| #5 | Superious | 46% | 41 |
| #6 | Aksium | 43% | 60 |
| #7 | knz | 35% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joeshmoe | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | ElectricSweetPotato | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | :D Book | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | knz | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Superious | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElectricSweetPotato | 362 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | knz | 227 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #3 | Joeshmoe | 202 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Cinna | 172 | 0.33 | 5 min |
| #5 | Superious | 120 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cinna | +3.26 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | Superious | +1.92 | 76 | 62 |
| #3 | :D Book | +1.70 | 46 | 61 |
| #4 | knz | +1.11 | 76 | 58 |
| #5 | Joeshmoe | +0.79 | 69 | 55 |





