








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1061 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,428 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 287 | 12% |
| Smokes | 923 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 673 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 545 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $513,013 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cat<3 | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Le0 | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | werneri | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Joonas | 50% | 125 |
| #5 | arskadegen | 46% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | werneri | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Joonas | 50% | 125 |
| #5 | arskadegen | 46% | 105 |
| #6 | V7kke | 45% | 88 |
| #7 | hakukuu | 43% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joonas | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | hakukuu | 8 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | arskadegen | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | V7kke | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joonas | 746 | 0.29 | 17 min |
| #2 | arskadegen | 418 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #3 | V7kke | 144 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | hakukuu | 119 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Cat<3 | 63 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joonas | +2.33 | 72 | 65 |
| #2 | V7kke | +1.58 | 71 | 66 |
| #3 | Cat<3 | +0.59 | 64 | 78 |
| #4 | arskadegen | -0.40 | 57 | 67 |
| #5 | Reijo | -1.47 | 47 | 41 |





