








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2594 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 278 matches | ||
| Premier | 194 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 68 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 117 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




210 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15995 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 44,775 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9757 | 22% |
| Smokes | 9137 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 12546 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 13335 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,421,108 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1560 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WapBap1Tap | 35 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | 𝖘𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍- | 29 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | PUSHLIKEPREGNANT | 18 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | 1fallsbimsl david.exe | 16 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | 2DMZ3 | 12 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WapBap1Tap | 313 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | PUSHLIKEPREGNANT | 295 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | mmmmmmmm | 282 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | 2DMZ3 | 257 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | EXCPECTIX | 253 | 0.14 | 7 min |





