










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 284 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9954 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,796 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6409 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5863 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4739 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3785 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,315,758 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 134 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maXfactoR | 61% | 76 |
| #2 | 巴门宁红 | 57% | 67 |
| #3 | ;) | 56% | 55 |
| #4 | zlSpeaker | 55% | 93 |
| #5 | 𝕤𝕠𝕓𝕖𝕣 | 55% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖘𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍- | 65 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | 𝕤𝕠𝕓𝕖𝕣 | 25 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | ツ | 22 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | ᠌ BuyDonuts | 20 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | maXfactoR | 20 | 0.0131 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᠌ BuyDonuts | 891 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #2 | Crazy Diamond | 643 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #3 | ✪ b3fore | 428 | 0.38 | 9 min |
| #4 | 𝖘𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍- | 332 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #5 | ツ | 286 | 0.10 | 7 min |





