








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Esplay | 6 matches | 1,120 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1056 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,114 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 849 | 14% |
| Smokes | 642 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 2327 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2296 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $454,078 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solvit | 44% | 164 |
| #2 | Vingen | 42% | 197 |
| #3 | jOL | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | Torsten | 41% | 76 |
| #5 | Von Pertan | 38% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | jOL | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | Torsten | 41% | 76 |
| #5 | Von Pertan | 38% | 58 |
| #6 | Jägarn | 34% | 149 |
| #7 | Master_Charlon | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vingen | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Solvit | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Von Pertan | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Jägarn | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Torsten | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vingen | 235 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | Jägarn | 233 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Torsten | 110 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Master_Charlon | 53 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Von Pertan | 51 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jOL | +3.78 | 43 | 44 |
| #2 | Torsten | +2.71 | 60 | 70 |
| #3 | Solvit | +1.81 | 61 | 27 |
| #4 | Von Pertan | +0.85 | 57 | 43 |
| #5 | Vingen | -0.49 | 68 | 50 |





