








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 309 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 308 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 1,056 | |
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1788 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,338 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2473 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2331 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1963 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3571 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,326,593 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 189 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solvit | 43% | 217 |
| #2 | Von Pertan | 43% | 124 |
| #3 | Aelg | 42% | 26 |
| #4 | Jägarn | 42% | 77 |
| #5 | Torsten | 40% | 221 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Torsten | 13 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Solvit | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Von Pertan | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Vingen | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Jägarn | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Torsten | 326 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | Vingen | 123 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jägarn | 113 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Von Pertan | 81 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Aelg | 47 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jOL | +3.40 | 49 | 51 |
| #2 | Torsten | +2.44 | 62 | 69 |
| #3 | Solvit | +1.84 | 59 | 26 |
| #4 | Von Pertan | +1.60 | 48 | 51 |
| #5 | Jägarn | +0.80 | 54 | 50 |





